A Whole Other Level Of Cottonmouthed

Ever been really dry mouthed? I mean, so dry-mouthed that your speech is impaired? So much so that it's not just an issue, it's a medical problem? Well, that's called xerostomia (literally, dry mouth disease).  You haven't?  Well neither have I, and I'm pretty glad about it.

But... if you wanted to go all William J. Baerg (I'll discuss him next time) and experiment on yourself... You can find out exactly how bad dry mouth can be by getting yourself a mouthful of silica gel desiccants.  You know, those little packets that you find in the bottles of pills sometimes, or in with other things that are moisture sensitive.

You know, the things that say
"DO NOT EAT"

I'm not going to try it myself (not while writing this anyway, I don't have any silica gel packs handy), but I welcome you to try it yourself*. Feel free to report your findings to me if you do!

Now, we need to be absolutely clear on a couple things here before you go off and eat some commercial-grade desiccants:

1) It's got to be the 'non-indicating' silica gel. The stuff that looks the same when it's fresh as it does when it's totally used up. The stuff that goes from orange to dark green, or orange to colourless is probably safe too, but it's best to not mess around. And the stuff that goes from blue to pink? Toxic as all holy hell, and you should never put it in your body. It's got cobalt (II) chloride, which if swallowed will cause nausea, will probably cause vomiting, and may cause permanent damage to your thyroid gland and pancreas. It's also carcinogenic. So, once again, to be absolutely explicit about this: DO NOT PUT THE STUFF THAT GOES FROM BLUE TO PINK INTO YOUR MOUTH! Only the stuff that starts clear and stays clear is absolutely positively safe to put into your mouth (and even then, only if it hasn't been contaminated by something else along the way, but if you get it out of a pill bottle, you should be fine).**

2) Don't swallow it. Even if it's the stuff that starts clear and ends clear. It's technically non-toxic (it's pretty much inert under normal circumstances), but it will irritate your insides. Oh, and it might dry the heck out of you. It won't kill you, but it won't be pleasant either.

Even suggesting you put it in your mouth is probably a bad idea, but it won't cause you any permanent harm, especially if you don't swallow and you make sure you're not using the toxic stuff.

Alright, with the disclaimers out of the way, here's how you get the most dry-mouthed bang for your buck:

1) Dehydrate the silica gel. Take them and throw them in a warm oven (200°F / 93°C) for 15mins or so. This will also let you know if it's the non-indicating stuff, or something that goes from a colour (usually orange) to clear. If it's any colour other than white/clear (possibly off-white or yellow-tinged) after drying it out, best not muck about with it.

2) Have something handy to spit it into. This might not be easy since your mouth may dry out fairly quickly. But still, it's better to have somewhere to spit handy than to not have it at all.

3) Keep in mind how much spit it's going to absorb. Your standard silica gel will absorb 40% of its weight in water, so 1g of the silica gel will absorb 0.4mL of spit. The smallest silica gel packs have about 0.25g of silica gel in them, which means they'll absorb 0.1mL of spit. How much is that? Two drops. Your mouth would have to be pretty dry to even notice that it's two drops drier. Best get yourself several, or a rather large one. Maybe several large ones. Remember to avoid swallowing it though.

Now you're ready for scientifically induced cottonmouth!

Damnit, that's not what I meant,
and you know it, Marvel Comics.

So, even though I've made a big deal about how this experiment isn't going to hurt you, you've still got a huge nagging doubt in your head, don't you? "If this isn't dangerous, why the warnings all over the package?" Liability. These things present a fairly massive choking hazard, and heaven help you if you ever inhale some by accident. Not that they're any more toxic in your lungs than in your stomach, but... They won't go away. They are, as I said, pretty much inert. Which means your body won't be able to break them down. Which, in an organ as delicate as your lungs, is a very, very bad thing. If you don't manage to cough it back up, it could do quite a bit of damage in there. Plus, there's the whole cobalt (II) chloride issue. And the outside contamination issue. The silica gel itself may not be dangerous, but if it was shipped with rat poison, then it might be coated in something that is.

Still, what fun is science without a little danger? You'll never discover anything interesting if you never take any chances! Just ask Marie Curie! Hmm... Alright, maybe she's a bad example.

Silica gel cottonmouth: A relatively safe experiment to try at home.*

---

*While I encourage you to try it, I in no way accept any responsibility for any problems, physical or mental, that arise as a result of your trying this. While theoretically safe, there's always a chance that something could go wrong, and you accept all responsibility for that wrong should it happen while you are conducting this test, either on yourself or on someone else.
**That all said, there probably isn't enough cobalt (II) chloride to actually make you sick, but I'm not taking any chances with liabilities here, and neither should you.

Sources:
Silica gel packet image taken from eHow.com
Cottonmouth image taken from Gone and Forgotten blog
Seton Resource Center
Wikipedia
GeeJay Chemicals Ltd.
AGM Container Controls Inc.
eHow.com How To Recycle Silica Gel Packets
Chow.com - What Happens If You Eat One Of Those Silica Gel Packets?
Dictionary.com pages for xero, stome and minim